Fundraising vs. Ministry

Fundraising... A necessary evil?

We frequently hear ministry leaders talking in terms of “fundraising” taking time from “ministry.” But this kind of expression reflects a serious error in our thinking. Fundraising is ministry — not separate from it — and in no way is fundraising a “necessary evil.”

Jesus was adamant about connecting people to God, and correspondingly obdurate about anyone or thing that confused or interrupted the connection. We see a prime example of this in His explosion with the merchants in the temple. There, in a place intended for connecting people to God, the merchants had turned the God-connection into an empty tradition. The sacrifices were intended to express people’s penitence before, and devotion to, God. To rear an animal for sacrifice took time and care. But here was a fast-food version: whip through the process, don’t think about God until the last minute, show up, pay a fee, and you’re out.

This was not the relationship, the connection, that God longed for. The “marketers” may have started out with honorable intentions — desiring to facilitate worship. But Jesus could see their hearts, and by this point they had clearly become opportunists, taking advantage of people’s need for a God-connection and siphoning off something for themselves.

* Like what you just read and want to learn more? Check out, More Than Money: The Truth About High-Capacity Givers.

Moves Management

Did you expect a post on cultivating major donor prospects?  On moving the prospect from identification, to introduction, to solicitation, to stewardship, to cultivation?

Well, that is important stuff for a nonprofit professional, but what about managing YOUR movement as a professional and emerging leader?

Are you hoping to rise in the ranks at your place of employment? Do you have ambitions for more? Showing your bosses you are capable is only half the battle to fulfilling your dreams.

In their book “Great Leaders GROW,” Ken Blanchard and Mark Miller wrote about the steps professionals need to take to become great leaders. One of those steps is to open your world at work. They came up with 16 ways to accomplish this:

• Shadow someone from another department or team.
• Work at a client’s facility for a day or longer.
• Listen in on donor calls.
• Travel with senior leaders from the organization.
• Serve on a cross-functional team.
• Begin collecting best practices from top performers.
• Interview recent retirees and seek their counsel on current issues.
• Attend the premier of a new program or the grand opening of a new office.
• Go back in the archives and watch presentations from the past decade.
• Meet with leaders from other departments to understand their issues.
• Have lunch with someone different every day until you run out of people, and then start over again.
• Travel to visit your must successful chapters.
• Find a mentor from another department.
• Ask others who best embody the nonprofit’s core values and spend most of your time with them.
• Attend open enrollment training events that will broaden your perspective.
• Lead anything you can, be it a project team, ad hoc group, work group, fundraising campaign, or any other event. Chances are good you’ll learn more by leading than anything else.

What does his list miss?  What caught your eye?

Progressing in Conversation with Donors

Here are a few thoughts on the progression of your conversation:

1.  We appreciate your faithful support of our ministry over the years. Can you tell me how you first got connected with us?
-This question is so very important because it establishes the starting point for relationship with your ministry. This is where and how the journey began that brought them to the point of sitting face-to-face with you! It often reveals the most effective development paths that originally introduced you to this donor, but more importantly will reveal something about their heart and circumstances which made them choose YOU.

2.  Why is this ministry important to you?
-Donors have many choices when it comes to supporting ministries. This question helps you to better understand their heart, their values, and priorities, while also enhancing your understanding about why your organization stands out. (Needless to say, I once worked with a donor who supported some 65 different ministries each month. Let’s hope yours is in the top 5!).

3.  Do you support other ministries similar to ours? (Which ones?)
-If you’ve ever spent time chatting with your Development Director about how new donors are acquired, he or she may discuss how the donors to your organization have similar patterns, interests, habits…in short, similar demographics. It’s quite probable that your donors support a handful of similar organizations, and it’s important to know who they are. There may be opportunities for joint projects or alliances that would be a “win-win-win” for everyone.

4.  In all the ministries you support, what would you say is the common theme?
-Here again, you want to give your donor an opportunity to express what’s important to them, while growing in your own understanding of why people give to you. When it is time for you to chirp in and talk about your ministry, all parties will be best served if your conversation focuses on topics of mutual interest, rather than less relevant program statistics.

5.  Have you seen our facilities? (If yes…) How well do you think our facilities convey the message of hope that is so central to our mission? (or whatever your message happens to be)
-Most major donors care about your ministry, and thus, have an opinion about how you do what you do. This question is an invitation to take one step closer to your ministry by coming down to see the operation first-hand. (Consider the small percentage of your total donor base that has actually done this!). If they’ve had the tour, do get an outsiders’ perspective on how consistently you “walk the talk.” Does your message of hope come through in all that you do or only what you say?

6.  Of all the things we do, which do you like best?
-It doesn’t hurt to survey now and then.

7.  (Looking at pictures on the table or desk….) Is that your (grand)children? What kind of things do you like to do together? Do they share you interest in ministry?
-This question is particularly helpful in understanding if the support of your ministry is a private matter or something shared by the family at-large. This becomes particularly relevant when structuring planned gifts that may impact the family estate.

8.  Do you share any other common interests or family traditions? Do you have a personal or family legacy that you want your (grand)children to carry on?
-Many families are becoming increasingly focused and intentional about their giving. With more understanding about the biblical benefits of giving, parents are beginning to see the value in raising their children to become givers, and embrace Christian philanthropy. Family foundations, Donor Advised Funds, and other vehicles are providing mechanisms for families to live out their faith in the context of finances. If their family values include involvement in ministries like yours, take note!
That’s interesting. We have a type of legacy, focus, or contribution we want to make as well. Fundamentally, we want to be known and remembered as the ministry that…….
-You better know how to finish this sentence. If your ministry values and purposes align with that of the donor, you’re on your way to a partnership of ministry and philanthropy that will be extremely fulfilling to all parties!

10.  Some of the ways in which we want to do that include….
-Here’s an opportunity for YOU to do some talking and share the specific vision and needs of your ministry that – you now know – align with the giving preferences of your donor-friend.

11.  Which of those do you think are the most important or will be the most effective in fulfilling our mission or defining our legacy?
-You’d best have a position on this yourself, but engaging your donor in some thinking about those aspects of your strategic plan they are most likely to support would be helpful dialog.

12.  As we (continue to) develop this/these, would you like an occasional update on our progress?
-By now you should have a pretty good idea of the level of interest your donor has in the future of your ministry. Obtaining permission to re-engage in dialog and send them information ensures and open door for fruitful ministry and philanthropy.

Before Donald Trump says, “You’re Fired”

Sometimes nonprofits tolerate incompetency in staff, largely out of a heart to help others.  Are we really helping?  Want to help others grow, and see great outcomes?  Then don’t enable, but empower!  If you have a staff member in your organization that needs to grow, change, get motivated, etc., Dr. Henry Cloud suggests you seek a commitment to 8 things.  Such a commitment suggests hope for change, so try it before you say “you’re fired”.  You must see some “desires fulfilled” if you are to have hope for a person or ministry to change.

Practical Application: 8 Requirements For Hope That a Person Can Change (ALL 8 must be present.)
1.       I must see you involved in a proven change process. (i.e. agree to go to therapy)
2.       I must see adherence to additional structure placed in your life (i.e. specific dates, tasks, timelines, pert charts, goals, schedules, etc.)
3.       I must see and receive new wisdom brought to the table (that shows me how to help this person change–that which I did not know before)
4.       I must see new experiences and the development of skills. (This may require more resources invested in the person.)
5.       I must see self-sustaining motivation. (Are they chasing whatever it is that will make them better?)
6.       I must hear an admission of need for change and help. (Remember, “You can’t help someone who doesn’t have a problem.”
7.       I must know that they have a support system for when they lack the energy to keep changing. (Get actual names and contact info.)
8.       I must see some actual movement. (It may not be quickly as maturity takes time. But I must see something.)

There should be no more “Mr. Bad Guy” that comes in and simply delivers bad news for bad performance. If they are willing to do ALL of the above things, then it’s fine to move forward in relationship/employment. If they are not willing or able to ALL of those things, then they must “self select” another relationship/company/organization where they can continue to live without having to change. If they do not get to the point where they can see this for themselves, then they must be told. But as Joshua told the children of Israel, “If serving God seems desirable to to you, then, choose you this day whom you will serve.”
—————————
Pastor Dave Michener, who supplied the above notes from Cloud’s presentation, asked Dr. Cloud if it was really necessary that someone meet all 8 of those requirements, to which he replied, “You tell me which one of those requirements should be left out.” Point taken.

Talking Points with Donors

Here are a few thoughts on the progression of your conversation:
1.  We appreciate your faithful support of our ministry over the years. Can you tell me how you first got connected with us?
-This question is so very important because it establishes the starting point for relationship with your ministry. This is where and how the journey began that brought them to the point of sitting face-to-face with you! It often reveals the most effective development paths that originally introduced you to this donor, but more importantly will reveal something about their heart and circumstances which made them choose YOU.
2.  Why is this ministry important to you?
-Donors have many choices when it comes to supporting ministries. This question helps you to better understand their heart, their values, and priorities, while also enhancing your understanding about why your organization stands out. (Needless to say, I once worked with a donor who supported some 65 different ministries each month. Let’s hope yours is in the top 5!).
3.  Do you support other ministries similar to ours? (Which ones?)
-If you’ve ever spent time chatting with your Development Director about how new donors are acquired, he or she may discuss how the donors to your organization have similar patterns, interests, habits…in short, similar demographics. It’s quite probable that your donors support a handful of similar organizations, and it’s important to know who they are. There may be opportunities for joint projects or alliances that would be a “win-win-win” for everyone.
4.  In all the ministries you support, what would you say is the common theme?
-Here again, you want to give your donor an opportunity to express what’s important to them, while growing in your own understanding of why people give to you. When it is time for you to chirp in and talk about your ministry, all parties will be best served if your conversation focuses on topics of mutual interest, rather than less relevant program statistics.
5.  Have you seen our facilities? (If yes…) How well do you think our facilities convey the message of hope that is so central to our mission? (or whatever your message happens to be)
-Most major donors care about your ministry, and thus, have an opinion about how you do what you do. This question is an invitation to take one step closer to your ministry by coming down to see the operation first-hand. (Consider the small percentage of your total donor base that has actually done this!). If they’ve had the tour, do get an outsiders’ perspective on how consistently you “walk the talk.” Does your message of hope come through in all that you do or only what you say?
6.  Of all the things we do, which do you like best?
-It doesn’t hurt to survey now and then.
7.  (Looking at pictures on the table or desk….) Is that your (grand)children? What kind of things do you like to do together? Do they share you interest in ministry?
-This question is particularly helpful in understanding if the support of your ministry is a private matter or something shared by the family at-large. This becomes particularly relevant when structuring planned gifts that may impact the family estate.
8.  Do you share any other common interests or family traditions? Do you have a personal or family legacy that you want your (grand)children to carry on?
-Many families are becoming increasingly focused and intentional about their giving. With more understanding about the biblical benefits of giving, parents are beginning to see the value in raising their children to become givers, and embrace Christian philanthropy. Family foundations, Donor Advised Funds, and other vehicles are providing mechanisms for families to live out their faith in the context of finances. If their family values include involvement in ministries like yours, take note!
That’s interesting. We have a type of legacy, focus, or contribution we want to make as well. Fundamentally, we want to be known and remembered as the ministry that…….
-You better know how to finish this sentence. If your ministry values and purposes align with that of the donor, you’re on your way to a partnership of ministry and philanthropy that will be extremely fulfilling to all parties!
10.  Some of the ways in which we want to do that include….
-Here’s an opportunity for YOU to do some talking and share the specific vision and needs of your ministry that – you now know – align with the giving preferences of your donor-friend.
11.  Which of those do you think are the most important or will be the most effective in fulfilling our mission or defining our legacy?
-You’d best have a position on this yourself, but engaging your donor in some thinking about those aspects of your strategic plan they are most likely to support would be helpful dialog.
12.  As we (continue to) develop this/these, would you like an occasional update on our progress?
-By now you should have a pretty good idea of the level of interest your donor has in the future of your ministry. Obtaining permission to re-engage in dialog and send them information ensures and open door for fruitful ministry and philanthropy.

Christian Fundraising Principles

By Scott Rodin, PhD
I believe that there are seven deadly sins that face every Christian fundraiser. I base this belief on my understanding of Biblical stewardship and the reality of the spiritual battle in which we are engaged as Christian development professionals. As a result, I am convinced that God-pleasing development work carries with it a whole series of unique challenges and potential pitfalls. The following points form the context for this discussion.

1. We were created to live as holistic stewards of our God-given relationships at four levels; our relationships to God, ourselves, our neighbor and our creation;
2. We are called to be one-kingdom stewards, placing everything we have and everything we are under the one lordship of Jesus Christ;
3. Our development work is ministry when it challenges and nurtures the stewardship responsibilities of our donors;
4. We face significant spiritual warfare when we deal with issues of money and obedience in the kingdom of God;
5. We must be prepared to enter this warfare and ensure that our work is God-pleasing ministry and does not become accommodated to worldly standards.

With these factors in view, here are seven deadly sins I believe face every one of us involved in the profession of Christian development.

Sin One – Being Unprepared for the Battle

As a Christian development professional, are you spiritually ready to engage in this battle? Are you willing to walk into the enemy’s territory, put your stake in the ground and say ‘we are not going to do our work according to worldly standards and secular values’? Are you ready to engage in the hard process of calling our people back to whole, one kingdom living? For anyone involved in Christian fund raising work, before attaining the skills and training for what you do, you must first focus on who you are. I believe that who you are as a child of God and where you are in your relationship with Jesus Christ is more important than any tool you will learn in any seminar at any conference that you will attend for the rest of your development life. Cultivate the disciplines of a spiritual walk with Christ that keep you prepared daily for the spiritual battle.

Sin Two – Self Reliance over Spirit Reliance

When we ask our people to pray for God’s guidance about their giving decision do we really mean it? We may hope that giving decisions are made because God’s children come before the throne of God and ask what God would have them do, and then respond obediently. But what role do we really leave for the spirit to do? Do we really step back from the threshold of manipulation and allow God’s spirit to have the final say in the giving decision of our donors? When we cross the line and take it upon ourselves to be the final motivating force for that coveted ‘yes’ from our supporters, we have committed the second deadly sin, and stolen God’s glory in the process. Cultivate a total dependence on the working of the Spirit in the hearts of your donors and refuse to take that role for yourself.

Sin Three – Money over Ministry

Despite the pressure to raise funds ministering to our donors must take precedent over asking for gifts. Our work is to facilitate the process that leads to God’s people cheerfully and joyfully doing what God puts on their hearts to do. Yet we continually face the pressure to secure funds in order to balance budgets and meet operating needs. So how do we respond when care for the donor – the ministry into which you have been called – seems to conflict with doing what it takes to get the gift? This deadly sin is committed whenever ministry is lifted over care for our donors. It’s a hard choice but relationships are the mediums in which we work. Relationships and trust must always come first. The enemy will use pressure, doubt and a false sense of urgency to shift your focus away from the ministry of development and onto the pursuit of immediate returns. We must cultivate a ministry mindset in your development work and never let it be unseated as your first and highest calling.

Sin Four – Unwillingness to Invest the Time

Building trust and relationships takes time. Godly development work is the investment of time to sit with donors when things are difficult, time to call them, to demonstrate in word and deed that we care about them. Ministry requires presence where short cuts almost always involve some level of manipulation and coercion. Impatience is a deadly enemy. The enemy will create an impatient spirit within you and tempt you to use manipulation and coercion to close the deal. Build the necessary time in your developmental planning and don’t deviate for the sake of expediency.

Sin Five – Decisions without Discernment

Godly development work requires an abundance of wisdom and discernment. What is your process for making sure that you have heard God’s word in every decision you make in your development work? And how consistent are you in seeking God’s guidance in everything you do? Put more bluntly, when do you stop seeking to hear God’s voice and simply ask him to bless what we were going to do anyway? The enemy will temp you to listen to your own voices, trust your own ideas, and short cut the discernment process. Cultivate a discernment mindset. Commit the time and be willing to be held accountable. The people working in the developmental profession must be spiritually mature people who have a passion for Christ who want to listen for the word of the Holy Spirit in everything they do.

Sin Six – Activity without Accountability

In this spiritual battle, accountability is critical. What systems do you have in place in your ministries to ensure that funds are spent like they are designated? That donor calls are undertaken with the ministry intent? That hearts are prepared before donor visits are made? Are development plans made on a biblical basis with the guidance of the Spirit? Are development staff committed to ongoing spiritual growth in their personal walk with Christ? The enemy will seek to drive wedges of secrecy and deception into your development work wherever there is no accountability. Develop a clear accountability system in your development program at every level and give it authority.

Sin Seven – Stealing the Glory

In our work we are called to balance acknowledging donors, rewarding successful fundraising work, and giving God the glory for all good things. How do keep our priorities straight? First, we acknowledge donors appropriately for their obedience to what God has laid on their hearts. Second, we recognize development staff in ways that understanding their role as ministry and not as a detached sales force. Finally, we glorify God completely and absolutely as the true source of all funds and blessings of every kind. We also glorify God for the ministry accomplishments as much as the fundraising accomplishments. The enemy will do all he can to divert our attention away from God and give glory in any other possible place. Cultivate a process of appropriate acknowledgement of donors, appreciation of staff, and give all glory and praise to God.

Facing the Giant of Fear

This week, I will face my fear.

It may seem like it’s too late for God to solve your problem. But Jesus insists that he can!

I want a microwave Savior. A God who solves my problems instantly.

But that’s not the only way Jesus works.

In Luke 8, two people came to him at just about the same moment: a religious official named Jairus, and an anonymous woman who had been hemorrhaging for years. The woman got instant satisfaction: “immediately her bleeding stopped” — even though she came to Jesus timidly. But Jairus — who trashed his pride, risked his entire career, and threw himself on Jesus’ mercy — got the most horrible possible news: his little girl had died.

But how did Jesus follow up? By addressing the most debilitating emotion we can experience ... the weapon that Satan most loves to use to keep us from accomplishing what God has called us to accomplish, and to keep us from becoming what God has called us to become: fear.

“Don’t be afraid,” Jesus said to Jairus. When I take my need to God, if he doesn’t see fit to answer my prayer immediately, or answer it the way I expect him to answer it ... if God has a purpose for delaying the answer to my prayer ... my most natural response is to be afraid. I’m afraid he doesn’t hear me. I’m afraid he doesn’t love me. I’m afraid I’m not good enough to have my prayer answered. Or I’m afraid of what’s going to happen if I don’t get what I asked for. I’m afraid of what alternative God might have planned for me. I’m afraid of what God might consider to be best for me, compared to what “I” consider to be best for me! I’m afraid, I’m afraid, I’m afraid!

And Satan loves this. When I’m afraid, I’m functioning perfectly according to Satan’s plan. I’m contributing beautifully to his purposes. I’ve played totally into his hand. I am now of limited use to God ... I am now growing spiritually in only a very limited way, if at all. Fear has done a number on me. Satan wins.

But Jesus says, Don’t fear! Between the two of them, Jairus and the sick woman demonstrate that Jesus can meet my need even after it looks like it’s too late. How many marriages have demonstrated the fact that Jesus can work a miracle even after it looks like it’s too late? How many parents of teenagers can tell you, It looked like it was too late for my kid, but Jesus worked a miracle. Jesus says, “It looks like it’s too late, but don’t be afraid.” He is still working. He still has a plan for your situation. He still has a way to grow you. He still has a way to provide for your ministry. He still holds the future.

If I truly trust God’s love ... my trust can displace my fear!

My Prayer for the Next Seven Days... Lord, help me patiently trust your love - even when it seems like there's no way you can meet the need I'm facing. Help me hang on to you! Amen 

Psalm 56: 3-4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?

Moving Up At Work

Are you hoping to rise in the ranks at your place of employment? Do you have ambitions for more? Showing your bosses you are capable is only half the battle to fulfilling your dreams.

In their book “Great Leaders GROW,” Ken Blanchard and Mark Miller wrote about the steps professionals need to take to become great leaders. One of those steps is to open your world at work. They came up with 16 ways to accomplish this:

• Shadow someone from another department or team.
• Work at a client’s facility for a day or longer.
• Listen in on donor calls.
• Travel with senior leaders from the organization.
• Serve on a cross-functional team.
• Begin collecting best practices from top performers.
• Interview recent retirees and seek their counsel on current issues.
• Attend the premier of a new program or the grand opening of a new office.
• Go back in the archives and watch presentations from the past decade.
• Meet with leaders from other departments to understand their issues.
• Have lunch with someone different every day until you run out of people, and then start over again.
• Travel to visit your must successful chapters.
• Find a mentor from another department.
• Ask others who best embody the nonprofit’s core values and spend most of your time with them.
• Attend open enrollment training events that will broaden your perspective.
• Lead anything you can, be it a project team, ad hoc group, work group, fundraising campaign, or any other event. Chances are good you’ll learn more by leading than anything else.

Low Budget Fundraising - Nonprofit Marketing

Don't Overlook the Low-Hanging Fruit

When it comes to getting the word out about their organizations, the first things many nonprofits think of are marketing and advertising campaigns—followed by endless meetings on how they're going to raise the funds to pay for them.
They seldom stop to look at the low-hanging fruit just aching to be picked, namely word-of-mouth opportunities to tell their organization's narrative to those closest to them in their homes, neighborhoods, and communities.
But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself.
The very first thing any organization needs to do is know what its narrative is, and a good place to start is by researching and answering the following questions: Who are we? What do we do? How do we do it? And why should anyone care enough to support us?
Once you've answered these questions and created a narrative that is true, compelling, and easy to understand, you then need to encourage everyone affiliated with the organization to go out and tell the story; in short, encourage everyone to be good advocates, or brand ambassadors, for the organization.
Here are some easy and inexpensive—if not totally cost-free—ways to go about spreading the word:

• Begin at home. Practice by telling your organization's story to your family and friends. Educate them about what you and your organization do. This will enable them to become good brand advocates if someone should ask, "So, what does your spouse/mom/dad do?"

·         Get more active in your community. Frequent and active community involvement provides any number of cost-free opportunities for people in other organizations to learn firsthand who you are, what you do, and why they should care. It not only raises your brand profile in the community, it also gives you the chance to collaborate and partner with other organizations in achieving your goals. Here are some suggestions for building your brand through community engagement:

• Seek out every opportunity to network and work with other businesses, organizations, and community leaders.
• Encourage your staff to attend civic organization, church, and school meetings to talk about and answer questions about your organization.
• Share resources and information with other community organizations.
• Demonstrate your willingness to work with others to help resolve community issues by volunteering to get involved in local task force efforts.
• Create points of entry. That is, invite prospective donors, community leaders, media representatives, and others to your organization so that they can see for themselves firsthand what it is you do as well as get answers to any questions they might have about your organization.
• Talk to your seatmate. When traveling, take every opportunity to explain your organization to people you meet. Then hand them your business card—which should contain your organization's mission statement on the side that is usually left blank!
• Be sensitive to the cultural make-up of your community. If the neighborhoods you are working in are multilingual, be sure you have someone on your staff who can communicate fluently with the people living and working in those areas. It's difficult to build a relationship or promote a brand when a language barrier exists.

Remember, telling your story and building your brand are very much about creating positive relationships. And there is no better way to build these relationships than through face-to-face community engagement. But that means that your board, staff, and volunteers need to get out from behind their desks and actively work to make your organization a major player in community affairs.
Increasing your brand visibility in this manner will serve a multitude of purposes, including helping you attract new revenue streams as well as recruit better-qualified and motivated board members, employees, and volunteers.
So, get out there. Tell your story. And start picking that low-hanging, low-cost fruit!

Broaden Your Networks

Ministry leaders typically become consumed by their work. Outside of the ministry, they don’t have a life. No “civilian” friends outside the ministry. Maybe no non-Christian friends at all. They lose touch with how regular everyday people think, feel, hurt — and how their affections are swayed. So they trust their own instincts (sometimes hanging their opinions on God’s influence, although it’s probably dirty pool to blame Him) — or they trust Mom’s. They feel they are leading a ministry, but in fact they are flying blind. Circumstances are guiding them, not the other way around.

Jesus modeled something quite different.  Matthew 11:19 reads,  “The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and “sinners.”  Get to know some people outside of your ministry surroundings – and maybe your ministry will gain focus and fruit.

Screening Grant Writers for Hire

Sometimes you just don’t have the time (or resources) to write that grant. In these cases, you might consider contracting with a grant writer – but then again, you’ve heard horror stories of large retainers with no revenue.  How do you steward your organization’s resources, and still create additional revenue streams?
Just like hiring an employee, you should be prepared to interview potential grant writers. In his book “How to Win Grants,” Alan Silver suggests asking these questions to see if the candidate is up to the challenge:

• What do you know about our agency, our services, and our operating environment?
• Given the needs we’ve described, how would you approach this project?
• How long have you been in the business? Why are you in this business? What did you do before you were a grant consultant?
• How would you do work with us? Do you disappear with the signed contract and reappear the day before the deadline with a finished product?
• Do we get to review and approve a draft well ahead of the deadline?
• What kind of success rate do you have overall and with this kind of proposal?
• What kind of operational experience do you have? (It is one thing to forecast budgets, another to live under them.)
• How do you charge for your services? (Let’s see your contract proposal.)

Obama Charitable!

Obamas Gave 22% of Their Income to Charity...

President Obama and his wife, Michelle, gave nearly 22 percent of their income to charity in 2011, according to tax returns made public today.

The couple reported $789,674 in income and gave $172,130 to charity.

The largest gift was a $117,130 contribution to the Fisher House Foundation, a group that provides free or low-cost housing to military personnel and their families while they are receiving treatment at military medical centers. Mr. Obama has been giving the charity the after-tax proceeds of the sale of a children’s book he wrote.

The Obamas’ giving represents a bigger share of their income than that of the presumptive Republican nominee for president, Mitt Romney, and his wife, Ann, according to an estimate of their 2011 taxes, released in January. They reported they had given more than 16 percent of their income to charity in 2010 and 2011.
According to the Romney campaign, the couple reported $21.6-million in income in 2010 and gave $3-million to charity. In 2011, they reported $20.9-million in income and made $4-million in charitable gifts.
Both of the men who want to win the 2012 presidential race have given considerably more than the share of income reported by other people at their income level.

Vice President Joe Biden and his wife, Jill, in tax documents released today, reported that they had given about 1.5 percent of their income to charity in 2011. The Bidens, who reported income of $379,035, contributed $5,540 to charity in 2011, according to the White House.

Remembering God's Blessings

This week, I'll establish a memorial.

God will provide for you and your ministry ... and you'll forget. Time to figure out a means of remembering!

Crisis? Sure, we can remember the crisis times. How did God solve them? How did God resolve them so quietly, so gradually, that they turned out not to seem like crises at all? How did God provide — maybe so subtly, his miracles just felt normal? Well, now, let me think a minute....

We tend to forget what God has done for us. We get to the next crisis, and we panic all over again.

People have always had this tendency. In the Old Testament, the Israelites enjoyed incredible blessings at the hand of God. But then when things were going well, they forgot; and when things went badly, they panicked — or complained.

Joshua was their leader for a while. He said Nuts to this; we’re going to learn to remember, so we can train our faith. We’re going to make a scrapbook of faith memories. In Joshua 4, when they needed to get across the Jordan River , God miraculously opened up a dry path right through the river. They got halfway across, and Joshua said, Wait a minute. You guys, work together and pick up 12 big boulders from the river bed here, and carry them out with us to the other side. They all got to the other side, the waters of the Jordan rushed back together, and Joshua said, Let’s take those 12 boulders with us.

They got to the place where they were going to set up camp — a place called Gilgal. There, he took the 12 boulders and set them up in a kind of memorial sculpture ... specifically as a memory device. A reminder of God’s provision, God’s care, God’s miracle-working power, God’s love.

We need Gilgals in our lives. We need to remember when God provides. We need to commemorate the breakthroughs. Maybe we need to make a scrapbook of God’s provision ... write up a list and put it on the fridge in the ministry office kitchen!

The Psalmist did this. He wrote a song to remember. Psalm 34:4 says, “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.”

Someday I will face a crisis. That’s when I’ll need to look back on the last crisis and say, Hey, remember when I thought I was never going to make it back there, then, when that happened? And look how God provided for me!

Time to head for Gilgal ... and re-read that list on the fridge.

 
Psalm 77: 7-12
Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again? Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion? ...I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.

My Prayer for the Next Seven Days... Lord, don’t let me forget your miraculous provision for me and my ministry. Amen.

Winning Grants

by Betsy Baker

It's not by accident, a fluke or plain dumb luck that nonprofits win grants. It's a result of hard work and dedication to five simple elements that make their funding chances much greater. If you find your efforts aren't paying off, it might be time for a quick review of common features that all winning grant proposals share.


All winning proposals meet their grant funder's objectives. Remember that saying, "it's not about you, it's about them?" This is especially true when it comes to developing and writing your proposal. Pay attention to the mission of the grant funder. If it doesn't pertain to you, skip them and look for someone whose interests match your own. Pay attention to their restrictions and make sure you meet them.


All winning proposals ensure that their budget aligns with the funder's guidelines. While there are many good and different approaches to demonstrate how your organization plans to spend the money in the requested grant, be sure to follow the approach that the funder requests. More often than not these days, the funder will include budget guidelines or even a template in the application to follow. Be sure to follow them and also ensure that your budget matches your proposal narrative. The two should be reflective of one another. In other words, your budget should be your proposal in numbers.


All winning proposals tell a good story. While I always emphasize the importance of keeping up with statistics to provide concrete evidence of the good you're doing in your community, a good story is at the heart of every winning grant proposal. I get a lot of questions about protecting the privacy of clients in writing stories but you can either use aliases or use several clients to form a composite.


All winning proposals follow directions. You might say "duh!" to this one but you wouldn't believe how many foundations reject proposals simply because the applicant didn't follow directions. Go back to your first grade roots and think about the reward you may get simply because you followed someone's directions.:)


All winning proposals are submitted on time. Foundations are sticklers for timeliness and do not look favorably on nonprofits that can't get their act together. Make sure that you begin a proposal in plenty of time to allow for the inevitable: printer running out of ink, not making it to the post office in time due to traffic or accidentally deleting that ten pages of narrative you had just written (guilty!!) The Boy Scouts were right - Be Prepared!

Good Interview Questions - for YOU to ask

Ask intelligent questions – By asking intelligent questions (and not questions you could find out from a quick Google search), you'll not only impress the interviewer with your interest but also set yourself apart from the competition. Such questions may include:

• Why is this position open? (Find out why the previous person left or if it’s a new role in a growing company)
• What traits or experience would a person need to be successful in this role?
• What are the top goals for the person you hire in this role?
• What's your management style (or the management style of the hiring manager)?
• What would you change about… the company, culture, department, etc.?
• What are the next steps in this process?

Don't GO Through it, GROW Through it.

 Psalm 27: 1-3
The Lord is my light and my salvation — whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life — of whom shall I be afraid?... Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

This week, I will trust God's timing. 

You’ll face trouble in ministry, and God won’t seem to be available to help. What’s up with that?

Does God sleep? Seems so. Christ’s disciples found themselves in a boat, in the middle of a furious storm — and Jesus was sleeping.

Jesus often seems to be sleeping. Facing trouble in my ministry —I can’t get an answer to prayer to save my life! The prophet Isaiah had such a hard time finding any sign of God that he called him the “God who hides himself” (Isaiah 45:15). Sometimes it seems God is willing for us to just fail, suffer, even die.
Why? The 18th century biblical scholar Matthew Henry put it this way: God sleeps “with a design to be awaked.” He sleeps in order to teach us the proper way to wake him.

The disciples didn’t get this. Mark 4:38 says they woke him and demanded, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

We do this. We don’t see any way for God to meet our need, and we feel that because he’s not meeting it the way we think he ought to be meeting it, and he’s not meeting it on our timetable, he doesn’t care.

But that’s only our perspective on our situation — not God’s perspective. Matthew Henry goes on to say that Christ may sleep, but he will not oversleep. Jesus responded to the disciples’ panic. In Matthew 8:26 he replied, “‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.”

He didn’t solve the problem first; he taught the lesson first. Three of the four gospel writers recount this experience, but Matthew makes a point of the sequence of Jesus’ remarks. He says Jesus “replied” to them before he ever got out of his bunk — he says “then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves.”

Jesus is more interested in what we learn — how we grow — than he is in solving the problem that we’re so fixated on!

Olympic skaters could feel good, they could get lots of applause, doing double-axles. And they would never fall down. But Olympic skaters fall down all the time — because they keep pushing themselves to do triple-axles. They don’t just want to feel good; they want to win. So they “make” problems for themselves to solve. They sail into the storm. They want to grow. Growth is more important to them than avoiding the trial of the moment.

Is God sleeping during my trouble? No. The bad times are growth times. I’m learning to skate ... learning to sail ... as I grow into Christlikeness. Timing is everything!

My Prayer for the Next Seven Days... God, give me your perspective. In my problem times grow my faith in your unfailingness. Remind me that you’re not asleep, but incontrol of everything. Help me trust your timing and plan. Amen.

Professional Online Profile Sites

There are a number of free sites online where you can establish a professional profile for yourself or for your business. Here are seven sites where you can put up a profile today.

1. Google Profile: This is one of the free applications you get when you sign up for your free g-mail account so there is no reason not to set up your Google Profile. With your Profile you can upload a photo, enter your contact information and link your blog, twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn accounts. You can show photos from your free Picasa account and use Google’s new +1 application. The best part is if anyone searches on Google for your name you show up in the results. While you are at it list your business with Google Places.
2. Plaxo: This is an online tool that helps you manage your address book and calendar. The paid version has some advanced features for syncing multiple accounts such as your g-mail and Outlook contact folders but you can get a free profile. The great thing about the free Plaxo profile is when you update your contact information, for example when you change your e-mail address or move, everyone you are connected to with a Plaxo account automatically gets your updated contact information.
3. biznik: This is one of several business networking groups that is aimed at connecting local business people. You can log onto your local chapter and set-up a profile for free and connect with your local business community. The paid profile gives you more opportunities to promote yourself or your business but the free profile at least gets you established with an opportunity to be found.
4. About.me: Is simply a place to put up a simple page that is just about you. You can get fancy or simple and have a site with your photo and contact information up in just a few minutes.
5. Gravatar: Have you ever wondered why when you make a comment on someone’s blog other respondents have their picture or avatar next to their comment while you have a blank space? It’s because they have a profile set up on Gravatar. You can set up profiles for multiple e-mail accounts so you can have one photo or avatar for your business e-mail and a different photo for your personal e-mail or for any other persona you choose.
6. FastPitch: Their goal is to be the Facebook for businesses. I’m not sure how well they are doing but it is possible to set up a professional profile or a business page in their application. They have a free account and a paid account that gives you more options. There are a number of sites that list businesses and let you put up information, links to your website and contact information. A few more are Hotfrog, Manta, or Zoominfo.
7. LinkedIn: This is the biggest and most active database of professionals and businesses on the internet. At the very least you should have an updated profile and a good photo of yourself up on LinkedIn. LinkedIn should be one of your standard social media connections and the one that you check at least several times a week. Here is a great E-Book on managing your LinkedIn account.

Alternatives to Grants

Grants have become one of the go-to sources for nonprofits that need funding for a project. Grant seeking can be an extremely time consuming process, though, so it’s crucial that you absolutely need a grant before you look for one.

In his book “How to Win Grants,” Alan Silver laid out 17 alternatives or supplements to grant funding:

• Sell unused assets and use the proceeds to fund the project.
• Eliminate another service or program and replace it with the proposed project.
• Charge fees to support some or all of the costs of a new service or program.
• If you are already charging fees, increase them to include the cost of the proposed project.
• Get a bank loan and pay it off with the fees you charge.
• Request a local, state, or federal appropriation.
• Use sources such as gifts-in-kind organizations to acquire new equipment, supplies, software, and other items.
• Explore state and federal surplus equipment programs.
• Recruit volunteer labor and expertise.
• Improve the efficiency with which you provide the service.
• Get a third party to pay for a portion of the costs, because the project saves them money in addressing the same problem or need.
• Identify and secure a major contributor or sponsor.
• Launch a fundraising campaign, beginning with your own board and stakeholders, or hold a one-time or continuing fundraising event.
• Explore co-marketing arrangements with business to create income.
• Create a for-profit business enterprise and use its income to support your project.
• Join another agency’s proposal as a sub-grantee or subcontractor.
• Combine two or more of these alternatives to assemble sufficient resources.

Online Fundraising Up 19% in 2011

By Nicole Wallace

The total that charities raised online jumped 19 percent in 2011 compared with the previous year, and the number of Internet gifts they received climbed 20 percent, according to a new study that analyzes online fundraising and advocacy at 44 national charities.
The 2012 eNonprofit Benchmarks Study was published by M+R Strategic Services, a fundraising consulting company, and the Nonprofit Technology Network.
The share of people who responded to e-mail fundraising appeals and advocacy requests dropped in each of the last five eNonprofit Benchmarks studies. But in 2011, organizations said the percentage who made gifts increased 2 percent and the percentage who responded to advocacy alerts  jumped 28 percent.
The increases can be attributed, at least in part, to organizations’ being smarter about their use of e-mail, says Sarah DiJulio, a principal at M+R Strategic Services.
“They’re consistently writing more compelling e-mail copy, tying it to the issues of the day,” she says. ”They’re also doing more sophisticated targeting and segmentation, so actually sending the e-mails to the people who are most likely to respond to them as opposed to blasting every e-mail to the full e-mail file.”
On average, monthly giving accounted for 8 percent of the money nonprofits collected online in 2011, compared with 5 percent in 2010. The average size of one-time online gifts for groups in the study was $62, while the average size of monthly gifts was $20.
Organizations’ social-media efforts continued to grow significantly in 2011. The groups in the study saw their number of Facebook fans increase by an average of 70 percent in 2011. On average, the charities in the study had 103 Facebook fans, 29 Twitter followers, and 12 mobile subscribers for every 1,000 people on their e-mail lists.
While the number of supporters who have asked to receive information via cellphone is still small, the number of people who view the groups’ e-mail messages on mobile devices is growing significantly.
For the Human Rights Campaign, a gay-rights organization that participated in the study, 17 percent of the group’s e-mail messages that are opened are read on mobile phones. As a result, the organization is experimenting with ways to make its messages easy to read on the devices’ small screens.

Grant Writer Turnover

Turnover on the Rise in Pivotal Foundation Jobs

The foundation officials who matter the most to nonprofits are those who oversee specific grant-making priorities. Program officers now stay in their jobs a median of just three years, shorter than at any other time since 2002 and a direct result of how foundations are responding to new economic pressures.

Caring for Your Donors

Be there for your Donors (friends, partners)

(Mark 10:45 NIV)  For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Jesus said He came to serve, not to be served.  His message?  It’s not all about you!
Phil 2:3  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Phil 2:4  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Bringing balance

Donors understand their role as stewards — they talk about their “responsibilities as Christians.” “God gives to us, and it’s our responsibility to give back.”
But it is possible for ministries to drain away the positive feeling that a donor may have about this role. Think about a personal friend of yours who constantly talks about his or her problems, needs, unhappiness. You are inclined to look for ways to avoid spending time with that person! You don’t have the emotional energy to deal with this individual. But the friend who’s balanced — who brings a good report, who gives praise to God, the sunny personality inclined to laughter and celebration — you look forward to spending time with that person.
Our messages to donors, in the same way, need to focus on the impact that the donor’s contributions are making — not exclusively on the need for more contributions to be given.
What donors are saying…
“Really, it is a matter of responsibility. We have a certain amount of money we can give and it is supposed to be done with responsibility.”
* Like what you just read and want to learn more? Check out, The Disappearing Donor: Where Your Ministry’s Lapsed Givers Went, and Why .

Longings of the Heart

content from Mike Bickle

The Seven longings of the human heart:

1. The longing for assurance that we are loved. This is where we begin our introduction to the romance of the Gospel. In every heart God has placed a craving to be pursued, delighted in and enjoyed—first by God, then by our families and friends. It is so integral to our identity that we become emotionally crippled when we feel rejection and shame from God or from others.This most fundamental longing to be enjoyed and loved is initially satisfied by the revelation of the finished work of the cross. However, God wants to touch this vital area in an ever deeper and abiding way. He has chosen to do this through the revelation of his emotional capacities as both a Father and a Bridegroom. We will be satisfied only by experiencing a revelation of the affections of God. It is not so difficult to believe that God enjoys and loves mature believers who’ve learned to walk closely with the Holy Spirit. But the fact is, God enjoys and delights in young believers as well, even in the midst of spiritual immaturity (see Luke 15:4-5, 8-10, 20). He wants to marry us—yes, even us! The Word of God declares, "I am my [Beloved’s], and [His] desire is toward me" (Song 7:10). The Lord enjoys us even now, as we are. When our hearts are assured through the revelation of the Spirit that we are deeply loved and enjoyed, something powerful is awakened within us. This is truly the beginning of our experience of the divine romance. Eventually even our emotional chemistry is changed, and our hearts are set afire.

2. The longing for enjoyment. There is a second craving in every human heart— a longing to marvel and to be fascinated, awestruck and filled with endless wonder. The secular entertainment industry has identified this human longing for enjoyment and has exploited it commercially—to their own profit and to our ruin. So many of us search endlessly through worldly entertainment and recreation to fulfill this God-given craving. We really do need to experience a sense of wonderment in the very core of our beings. Without having a sense of awe, we live aimlessly and become spiritually bored. This makes us vulnerable to Satan’s tactics. A spiritually bored church is a weak and vulnerable church. But a satisfied believer is a spiritually strong believer who lives protected from Satan’s schemes. The Lord wants to answer this longing by an unprecedented unveiling of the beauty of Christ. In Isaiah 4:2, God declares that in the last days the Branch of the Lord will be manifested as "beautiful." The Branch of the Lord is none other than Jesus, our Messiah. God will fascinate his people beyond anything they have ever known by the unveiling of the beauty of Jesus in the last days.This is divine entertainment at its highest as God the Father reveals God the Son to us through the Holy Spirit!Throughout church history most believers have not been deeply fascinated by the Lord; they have simply gritted their teeth and tried to avoid evil. But a new anointing is going to be released on the church worldwide.Think about it: We worship one who possesses transcendent beauty! The seraphim gaze on him and cry out, "Holy! Holy! Holy!" as they are stunned by the beauty of God. Within the bridal paradigm the Lord will answer our craving for awe and wonder by revealing to us the beauty of the Bridegroom.

3. The longing to be beautiful. Every one of us longs to possess beauty and to feel beautiful. No wonder: A beautiful God created us in such a way that we long to possess and feel his imparted beauty. Unfortunately, our culture has an obsession with physical appearance and vanity because it seeks to answer this legitimate longing in a wrong way. Most of us pursue carnal beauty because we feel so unsettled and unhappy when we feel ugly. The glorious news is that the beauty of God is not just something he possesses—it is something he imparts through redemption to his bride. In Psalm 90:17, Moses prayed that "the beauty of the Lord" would be released upon the redeemed. Similarly, David prayed that God would "beautify the humble with salvation" (Psalm 149:4). This is a staggering concept. God transfers his spiritual beauty through redemption to formerly demonized, hopeless, sin-ridden people! His beauty is transferable to human beings through Jesus!

4. The longing to be great. In the core of our being, we long to be successful and noble. Our great God created us with the pursuit of greatness programmed deep within our emotional genetics. Sometimes we misunderstand this longing and assume that we must repent of it, but this isn’t true. We cannot repent of the God-given longing to be great—only of pursuing it in a wrong way. We were made for greatness and honor. The Lord meets this longing by granting his bride a position of authority that surpasses even the highest-ranking angels. Jesus declares that his people will one day be exalted to his very right hand, sitting with him on his throne (see Rev. 3:21). In the embrace of our Bridegroom King, we co-rule with Him. Believers are at the very pinnacle of power in the created order. We are a part of the aristocracy of eternity, a part of the ruling class. In Jesus we have married into indescribable wealth and power. As the church takes hold of the truth of who we really are as honored and esteemed heirs of God’s throne, then our lives will portray a divine inner strength and a fierce determination to be wholly his.

5. The longing for intimacy without shame. We long to know and be known before the Lord. God put this longing in us because he wants us to find its deepest satisfaction in experiencing intimacy with him. This spiritual intimacy is available to the redeemed. Jesus wants to entrust to his bride the unique secrets of his transcendent beauty and divine strategies. He has many secrets that he will reveal to his bride, ones that even the principalities and powers do not know (see Eph. 3:10). Because of our value to him we are invited into this mysterious realm of divine knowledge.That intimacy is reciprocal. While we will have knowledge of his secrets, he also has knowledge of our secrets. He understands aspects of our lives that are unknown and misunderstood by others.Jesus feels our pain and struggles. He knows our sin and shame. Yet he treats us with honor as he walks with us through every season of life. He is intimate with us in our victory and prosperity. He rejoices and celebrates with us as He shares our triumphs. He knows our true greatness, and he sees the heights of our nobility in redemption.He is also intimate with us in our heart passions. He knows the depths of our longings, dreams and intentions to love him. Even our failed intentions to love him are seen in his love, To be fully known without shame and to have no fear of being left to experience the mysteries of life alone is exhilarating!

6. The longing to be wholehearted and passionate. In our hearts we long to possess the power to abandon ourselves completely to God. We long to avoid the spiritual boredom, disloyalty and compromise that leave us broken and discontent. We desire the ability to give the deepest affection of our hearts back to the Lord (see Matt. 22:37).We cannot function properly until we have passionately given our hearts to a Person and purpose beyond ourselves. If we don’t have something to die for, then we don’t have anything to live for.The passive heart is vulnerable to every lust of the flesh. In order to be emotionally whole we must reach for wholeheartedness as the Lord graciously imparts it to our weak hearts. He will give us the power to be passionate because He is a passionate God.

7. The longing to make a deep and lasting impact. As human beings we are desperate for a life of meaning, relevance and significance. We long to make a contribution to the lives of those we care about. We experience great enjoyment when we bring pleasure to others.This, too, is a legitimate longing placed in our hearts by a God of meaning and purpose. It is fulfilled by anointed service in his kingdom, resulting in rewards that literally last forever.God designed his people to make a relevant impact in the lives of others. In fact, Jesus wants us yoked together with him in the holy mandate that the Father has given him to disciple the nations (see Matt. 28:19). As we reject our tendency toward self-centered isolationism and walk out the second commandment at our Bridegroom’s side, we will satisfy the longings of our hearts.

Before You Launch a Capital Campaign

When Not to Build

• 

• 

An Architect's Unconventional Wisdom for the Growing Church

by Ray Bowman and Eddy Hall


If you are among the growing number who uneasily wonder if the church spends too much of its time, money, and energy on buildings; if you feel there must be a better way, a way that would free the church to redirect many of its human and financial resources to meeting the needs of people; if you have ever wished someone could show you and your congregation a proven, workable plan for doing that, then this book is for you.

Architect and consultant Ray Bowman estimates that nine of every ten churches that have called him, thinking they needed to build, have a better & less costly alternative. In fact, in many cases, building programs, rather than helping churches grow, actually slow or stop the growth they are intended to accommodate.

To help your church avoid these costly mistakes, this book includes self-tests that help you assess whether you are building for the right reasons, whether you have a better alternative than building, and whether you are finanically ready to build.

Since this book was first published in 1992, it has been changing how North American churches think about, use, and pay for their buildings. The updated and expanded edition includes four new chapters by consultant Eddy Hall filled with practical examples of how churches are applying these principles, plus a new self-test and a new appendix. 

 

More info at  http://living-stones.com/store/product_info.php?cPath=21&products_id=28

Death Bed Regrets

A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life?  

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?